Road rage

As a profession, I speak with people on a daily basis who do stupid things with their car. This could be backing out into their mailbox, being completely oblivious to what's going on around them and pulling out in front of someone, or running a red light, among countless scenarios people get themselves into.

I once spoke with someone who got into a high-speed chase with another driver down the interstate, exited the highway, then proceeded to have the other driver get out of their car and punch them. This, my friends, is what we like to call road rage. Road rage, if you ask me, is the stupidest and most avoidable loss situation there is.

Today I was driving back up I55 from Bloomington. I had set my cruise to 74 mph and was momentarily in the left lane to pass a slower-moving car. I wasn't accelerating because at the pace I was going, in another 2 or 3 seconds, I would be ahead of that car and I would be able to move back into the right lane.

Right as my car was at the point where the back half of it was still parallel to the car in the right lane, I noticed a white minivan seriously flying up behind me. People exaggerate to me all the time how fast they think another car was going, but I can honestly say this car had to have been going at least 90 mph coming up behind me. Well, my car was just about to the point where I could get over, but I, admittedly, hesitated for just a moment because I just couldn't believe this guy. Of course he flys up on my tail and is about thisclose to me. He's getting super impatient and jerks over into the right lane the same moment I do, as I'm trying to get out of his way. This of course pisses him off even more because of course he's in such a hurry. He continues to ride my tail in the right lane, as I look up in my rear view mirror and see him and his female passenger yelling at me and flipping me off. I scrunched up my face in disbelief and motion to the left - Well get over then! He then jerks back in to the left lane and flys past me. I can feel my face burn as their windows pass mine. Yes, I admit I flipped him off as he drove by. I figured he'd just keep on going, secretly hoping a cop was up there somewhere to bust him for driving like such an ass. I mean come on, what a jerk!

But then, his wife or girlfriend or whoever must have saw me flip him off because they suddenly slow down and start pacing me. Well this kinda scares me because who knows what this weirdo is capable of. Just drive on if you're in such a hurry, why are they hanging back now? Images of this guy swerving over into my lane and hitting me then trying to blame it on me are going through my head. But that's the claim rep in me, I guess. They slow down to the point where they are over and just barely ahead of me. I see the passengers side window roll down. Mind you, it is super windy today and they were going about 80 mph. The female in the passenger seat then proceeds to stick her head out of the window and scream profanities at me while flicking me off. I just stared at her in disbelief, hoping they'd just keep driving. After a few moments of this she finally got back into her car and they flew off at an unbelievable speed.

I watch the white minivan with dealer plates, DL 1550, drive off... I wonder if I could call that in? Nah... I don't even know who I could call? It's not 911-worthy. But come on. These are the jerks that cause accidents! These are the people that get into an accident from this kind of behavior, then refuse to believe that they could possibly have any negligence, or lie about what happened! This is how people get hurt.

I guess I just want to remind everyone, especially now when the weather starts getting bad and the roads can be treacherous, to please... take your time. Drive relatively near the speed limit. LOOK AROUND YOU. I can't tell you how many times people get into accidents and never saw the other person coming. And please... don't drive like this jerk! Or you or someone else might end up getting hurt. I know you might be in a hurry, but so is everyone else. Please, just calm down. Drive at a safe speed, watch out for the other guy, and more often than not, you'll get to your destination safely.

Pat Boone on Prop 8

Hate is Hate, according to Pat Boone.

Yes, Pat Boone. The washed-up country singer turned right-wing commentator. I think he and Chuck Norris, whom I've written about before, should get together and make babies. All this anti-gay rhetoric has got to lead to some major latent homosexuality between those two. Sounds like a classic case of deflecting the issues that you don't feel confident about in yourself. I mean look at this photo of him, he'd fit right in to the scene!





Of course if they got together, they might be disappointed to find out how difficult it is to adopt children as a gay couple though. Ah, but I digress.

Let me pull up a few of my favorite quotes from Mr. Boone:

To them, there is only one acceptable worldview – a theology they intend to enforce on all humankind

--The irony in this quote is just astounding.

...was saddened to hear that the estimable Brad Pitt, who has done a lot for the displaced people in New Orleans, pledged $100,000 to his friend Ellen DeGeneris for some campaign to overturn Prop 8, saying something about constitutionally guaranteed "equal rights." I'd like to know – on just what constitutional writ does Brad base this statement?

--So Brad Pitt (above all others apparently?) is a bad man now for supporting equal rights for his friends and for every citizen of CA and this country? And as for Constitutional writ... does the Declaration of Independence ring a bell? As in "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal..."?

Every homosexual citizen has the same, identical rights as any other American

--Really?? Really??? Please, Pat! Come live one day in a gay person's shoes! Please! Try to adopt children, visit your ill partner in the hospital, or apply for health benefits through your partner's employer! TRY! I think my head might explode.

Slavery was abolished, blacks and women obtained the rights to vote, and these true rights were not obtained by threats and violent demonstrations and civil disruption (though these things did occur, of course), but by due process, congressional deliberations and appropriate ratification.

--What he forgets to mention is that the thirteenth, fifteenth, and nineteenth amendments provided rights obtained by the legislative process, representative government. Not by popular vote, as was Prop 8. Big difference! Oye. Throwing the civil rights of the oppressed minority to the wolves of the majority oppressor for a popular vote... is NOT the same thing.

And last, but certainly not least, the most unconscionable quote of all:

What troubles me so deeply, and should trouble all thinking Americans, is that there is a real, unbroken line between the jihadist savagery in Mumbai and the hedonistic, irresponsible, blindly selfish goals and tactics of our homegrown sexual jihadists. Hate is hate, no matter where it erupts. And by its very nature, if it's not held in check, it will escalate into acts vile, violent and destructive.

Yes, Pat. Hate is Hate. And you have done a fine job of exemplifying yours, by drawing a comparative connect-the-dot from the terrorists in Mumbai to the LGBT and gay-supportive community who demonstrate and protest for equal rights and protection under the law. A clear comparasion. For a wing-nut.

Blago, oh-no.

First let's state the obvious.


Blagojevich is comedically arrogant, unequivocally idiotic, and entirely corrupt. The allegations against him are astounding. The transcripts of his conversations are F-bomb-ladenly hilarious and unbelievable. And his hair is straight out of the 80s.




"Nothing but sunshine hanging over me....whatever I say is always lawful" Well-chosen words one day before being arrested?


Dig the Maddow Show fake-Chicago accent reenactment of the Blagojevich tapes. Oh, snap! Even Patty got in on it!


I think my new favorite line is "I got this thing, and it's F*@&% golden," referring to Obama's vacant Senate seat which he basically put up for sale. Classy. Had I known Senate seats were for sale, I would have included it on my Christmas list to Santa.


As expected, all eyes now turn to Obama. What did he know? When did he know? Did he know? What's his tie to all this corruption? After all, he IS from the "Chicago Machine." I'm sure, if they have been taping all of Blago's phone calls, that if any communication took place between Obama or his staff and Blagojevich regarding the Senate seat, it will come out. I just hope beyond hope that Obama was being 100% truthful when he said "I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not aware of what was happening." I? We? Which one is it? Whichever one it is, it better be true.


Axelrod said he talked to him. Obama said he didn't. Now Axelrod is rescinding the comment. But wouldn't it be entirely plausible and legal for someone from the Obama camp to communicate at some point with the Blagojevich office regarding future appointment to the seat that Obama has vacated, just for general conversation, sans the attempts to get paid for it? Wouldn't it then be strange for him to say there was absolutely no communication between the two offices? I don't know.


But some sort of communication between someone must have taken place for Blago to call Obama a "Mother F*&%er" for not being willing to give him anything more than his "appreciation" for whoever he was to appoint to the Senate seat. The question is, where do you draw the line between direct ties on behalf of Obama, and a possible conversation by one of his staff members with Blagojevich, unbeknownst to Obama? I would really just hate to see this taint Obama before he even gets sworn in. Talk about terrible timing. Yet another "guilty by association" scandal for people to run with. Ayres who?


Any communication that did take place, I hope it reinforces the current notion that Obama remained clear of this scandal and corruption. At least the Obama camp has that going for it right now, they seem pretty clean. I hope it stays that way!

Oooh yeah... extra napkins...

Tonight I was driving home from work. It's winter so it's only 4:45 but it's already pitch black out. My iPod, which as about 1200 songs on it, is on shuffle but invariably "shuffles" the same songs it always "shuffles". Why it thinks I want to hear Bell Biv DeVoe's "Poison" more than once a week is beyond me. Of course, you never can trust a big butt and a smile.

The constantly recurring "Lady" by Styx I can deal with.


So I'm driving down 83, singing along to some Styx when I glance in my rear view mirror, like I've done a million and one times before. But this time is different, I notice something. What is that? I reach up above the mirror and my fingertips come to a dip in the plastic, and pull it down. Oh my god. I have a visor. A very narrow, long visor right above my rear view mirror.


I know, who the hell cares, right? I'm too short to really even put it to good use. I need a visor that comes down to the freaking steering wheel. Or a phonebook to sit on to bring me up to that level. But listen, I have had my car for 4 and a half years. I have over 73,000 miles on my car. I practically live in my car, and I never once noticed this visor.


It provided me with a flash of self-awareness. This is so typical of me. I am so oblivious to blatantly obvious things going on around me sometimes, I didn't even notice this stupid visor in my car.


I'm notorious for having no clue when someone may be showing signs of interest. No clue when someone is actually making fun of me, until it's too late to stick up for myself. No clue when it's inappropriate to say things until it's already out of my mouth and I've made a fool of myself.


Case in point, had a conversation a few days ago with a friend on the subject of women over 30 with nose rings. Of course I blabbed my mouth about how getting your nose pierced at that age may be a little trashy and desperate, and how yes, I have mine pierced but come on, I got it done when I was 20. Of course I did not notice the lady standing right next to us in line at the store was well over 30...and had a nose ring. My friend was kind enough to point this out. After I opened my mouth about it. Whoops.


I'm not stupid, and I'm not typically un-cooth. But I do have my moments. Maybe that's why I usually just keep quiet and observe, and hate speaking in front of people.

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Side note, two videos that must be watched. For some reason it won't let me post a video as a video, so you'll have to click the links.

First, Prop 8: The Musical. It's a brand new, bright, Obama Day!

Second, one of the funniest yet most disturbing things I've seen in a long time.

Let me just say, I will never look at my former restaurant managers the same again.

Braggin on the fam!

I have to brag on my family for a moment...

My aunt's store "The Chalkboard" was featured on Fox Chicago as one of Chicago's "Favorite Toy Stores". Her, my cousin Becky and her daughter Morgan are all in this clip! Morgan is the blondie letting us know she wants a science experiment for Christmas. Note to self!

Check it out :)

http://www.myfoxchicago.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=7967841&version=1&locale=EN-US